Her Story Edition 12: When Playing Small Isn't an Option
When being "too much" becomes exactly enough. Stories of women who won't back down. .
Hello, Denyse here, and a very warm welcome to We Are Mimosa, a place for women building brands which are aligned with their purpose and values, and who care about making the world a better place.
"Should I tone it down?" "Am I being too ambitious?" "Is this the right time to take a stand?"
These questions echo in the minds of many women leaders right now, and it's not hard to understand why. With political setbacks threatening women's autonomy, economic headwinds battering women-owned businesses, and a growing backlash against diversity initiatives, self-doubt can feel like a natural response. The whispered cautions to "stay in your lane" or "keep your head down" tap into our deepest uncertainties about claiming our power and speaking our truth.
In moments like these, it's tempting to play small – to make ourselves less visible, less "threatening," less ambitious. After all, isn't that the safest choice when the headwinds are this strong?
Understanding the Landscape
We're witnessing a pivotal moment in women's leadership. While the statistics paint a sobering picture – 78% of women-led businesses struggling to exceed £50,000 in annual turnover, systematic barriers to funding, persistent wage gaps – the numbers tell only part of the story.
Beneath these challenges lies a more insidious pressure: the subtle and not-so-subtle messages that women should scale back their ambitions, moderate their voices, and accept limitations as "just the way things are." This pressure intensifies during periods of cultural backlash, when every woman who steps forward faces heightened scrutiny and criticism.
Yet paradoxically, these are exactly the moments when playing small becomes most dangerous. History shows us that progress doesn't pause politely during difficult times – it either moves forward through the courage of those who refuse to be diminished, or it slides backward through the accumulation of small surrenders.
Founder Spotlight: Three Women Who Refused to Dim Their Light
Trinny Woodall: Too Old or Too Bold?
When Trinny Woodall launched her beauty brand at age 53, the industry "experts" had plenty of advice about staying small. She was too old. The market was too crowded. The timing was wrong. Direct-to-consumer beauty was impossible without major backing.
But Trinny saw something deeper than market analytics. She recognised millions of women over 45 who felt invisible to the beauty industry – women with significant buying power, sophisticated tastes, and a deep desire to be seen and understood.
The "experts" said filming beauty tutorials from her bathroom in her pyjamas would damage her brand. Instead, this radical authenticity built a community of 90,000 devoted customers across 30 countries. They said she couldn't compete with established beauty tech. Her Match2Me technology now drives 75% of customer purchases.
In seven years, she's built a £180 million empire shipping to 180 countries. But more importantly, she's created something beyond a beauty brand – a space where women refuse to accept invisibility, where age becomes an asset rather than a limitation, where authenticity trumps artificial perfection.
Jane Shepherdson: The Power of Protected Spaces
When Philip Green took over Arcadia Group in 2002, many expected Jane Shepherdson, Topshop's brand director, to fall in line with his notoriously aggressive management style. Instead, she created what she called a "protective dome" around her team, insisting on meeting Green in her office to shield her staff from his bullying behaviour.
This wasn't just about personal protection – it was about preserving the creative values and authentic leadership that had transformed Topshop from a "tacky, trashy, cheap teen ghetto" into a fashion powerhouse. Under Shepherdson's leadership, profits had soared from £9 million to £110 million. But more significantly, she'd created a space where creativity could flourish, where emerging designers found support, and where fashion became democratically exciting.
When faced with the choice between compromising her values and walking away, Shepherdson chose integrity. Her departure in 2006 marked more than a career change – it demonstrated that sometimes protecting your values means refusing to play small, even when the cost is high.
Safia Minney: Redefining What's Possible
In a fashion industry dominated by fast fashion and disposable consumption, Safia Minney didn't just challenge the status quo – she created an entirely new model of ethical business. Starting with a small NGO in Tokyo, she built People Tree into a global movement that proved fashion could be both ethical and profitable.
When told that consumers wouldn't pay more for ethical fashion, she didn't scale back her vision – she scaled up her impact. She became the first to launch a Global Organic Textile Standard (GOTS) certified clothing range in the developing world and the first to achieve the World Fair Trade Organization product label.
Even after stepping back from People Tree, Minney refused to play small. Through initiatives like Fashion Declares and Real Sustainability, she continues to challenge the industry to think bigger about its potential for positive impact.
Leadership Insights: Transforming External Pressure into Internal Power
Studying these leaders' journeys reveals common patterns in how they transformed external pressure to minimize their impact into fuel for larger transformation:
They made "limitations" their competitive advantage
Trinny's age became her insight into an overlooked market
Jane's commitment to protection created space for creativity
Safia's ethical constraints drove innovation
They prioritised purpose over popularity
Each faced significant pressure to compromise
Each chose alignment with values over easier paths
Each created new possibilities through this alignment
They built protective structures that enabled others
Trinny's authenticity created space for others to be seen
Jane's "protective dome" preserved creative freedom
Safia's new business model enabled ethical production
They refused to accept artificial limitations
Age became irrelevant to innovation
Toxic leadership couldn't contain creative vision
Industry "impossibilities" became new standards
These patterns of transforming pressure into power aren't limited to the business world. Across every sphere where women face pressure to minimise their impact, we see similar acts of courageous refusal to stay small. From courtrooms to classrooms, social media to shopping malls, women are choosing to stand their ground – sometimes at tremendous personal cost.
Women in the World: Triumph and Urgency
This week, two stories powerfully illustrate both the courage of women who refuse to stay silent and the urgent work still ahead.
In France, Gisèle Pélicot delivered her final day of testimony in a mass rape trial that has shocked the nation. Standing before the court in Avignon, she denounced French society as fundamentally macho and patriarchal – a system that trivialises rape and silences survivors. Her decision to waive anonymity and pursue justice publicly represents extraordinary courage in a country where only 1 in 10 rape cases reaches prosecution, and even fewer result in convictions.
Meanwhile in Saudi Arabia, women's rights defender Manahel al-Otaibi faces an 11-year prison sentence for actions many take for granted: posting pictures of herself at a shopping mall without the traditional abaya and tweeting support for women's rights. Her case exemplifies how even the smallest acts of refusing to "play small" – choosing one's own clothes, expressing basic human rights – can be met with devastating consequences in systems built on women's compliance.
Consider adding your voice to this urgent call for action here.
These stories remind us that speaking truth to power isn't an abstract concept – it's a daily choice made by women around the world, often at tremendous personal cost. They also underscore why the pressure to "play small" isn't just a personal limitation – it's a systemic tool for maintaining inequality.
Inspiration in Action
This week, I'm finding hope and energy in three remarkable explorations of women refusing to accept traditional limitations:
Anne Boyd Rioux's "Audacious Women, Creative Lives" examines how creative women throughout history transformed their frustrations into fuel for change. Her latest piece on women writers who made her "want to change her life" reminds us that audacity isn't just about big gestures – it's about persistent, determined creativity in the face of doubt.
Tara Pierce's "Artist at Law" demonstrates the power of imagination in creating change. Her new mini-podcast series "Imagine Climate" challenges the notion that we must accept limitations in how we envision our future. At a time when many are retreating from big challenges, she shows how creative thinking can transform seemingly insurmountable problems into opportunities for innovation.
Sam Baker's analysis of Sharon Horgan's "Bad Sisters" celebrates what becomes possible when women take control of storytelling. Her piece reveals how stories change when women refuse to accept traditional narratives – not just in their plots, but in how they're created, produced, and shared. It's a powerful reminder that changing who tells the stories changes which stories get told.
As we navigate these challenging times, the stories of Trinny, Jane, Safia and others remind us that playing small isn't an inevitable response to pressure – it's a choice. And while the cost of standing tall may seem daunting, the cost of diminishing our purpose ultimately runs deeper. Each woman who refuses to be silenced, whether in a French courtroom, a Saudi prison, or the boardroom, creates space for others to claim their power.
Over to You
When have you felt pressure to play small? How did you respond, and what did you learn from that experience? Share your story in the comments below – your experience might be exactly what another woman needs to hear right now.
If this resonated with you, please take a moment to "❤️" and share this post. Your story matters, and sharing it helps build the supportive community we all need.
Until next time,
Denyse
About me
If you’re new to my work, it might be helpful if I explain who I am and what I do!
I’m Denyse Whillier, a former Chief Executive with more than 25 years of business experience under my favourite Sézane belt. I upcycle my skills and experience to provide business mentoring and strategic support, reimagined for female founded businesses.
My mission is simple. It’s to make it easier for women to build thriving brands which are aligned with their purpose and values and to close the gender gap in entrepreneurship, one female founder at a time.
To find out how I can support you on your business journey, check out this link. And if you’d like to know more about the results my clients get, here are some of my case studies.
One-off advice | 3-hour intensive | Ongoing monthly business coaching | Done-for-you business audit
This was so timely. thank you!